DontAdvertiseToMe.com has been on a short hiatus, largely due to Jeff needing to shift his focus to a larger project (see last post, “Give Thanks), and my life adjusting to the responsibilities and joys of fatherhood. While I can’t promise daily posts, I do plan to keep this blog going and potentially add a few other writers so you don’t have deal with only my rambling snark day-in, day-out. Since I welcomed a son into this world a mere four weeks ago, I found it to be fitting to incorporate his presence into my first post back. So without further blah blah blah:

Spam doesn’t always find its way into your inbox where it waits to be flagged and quickly quarantined to your trash folder. It also doesn’t always blare out at you in the form of a popup that visually screams at you when you’re simply trying to find good internet porn. Sometimes, it shows up on your doorstep individually packaged in a small cardboard box anticipating a new life entering your family.

Yep, when your partner gets pregnant and the ink on the baby shower invites hasn’t even dried yet, you get sent the gift of free baby formula. Your great aunt whoever or your forgettable cousin back east hasn’t heard the exciting news yet, but because you registered for all those burp clothes and Moby wraps at Target, Enfamil has received the good word and wants to establish itself as your baby’s go-to sustenance. When that little tyke won’t latch onto a cracked nipple that’s already had enough devastation by suction, Enfamil wants to save you the ensuing late night hours of screaming and frustration from both mother and children.

It’s not surprising that a baby formula company is forced to give away unsolicited free samples as most birth educators and pre natal practitioners have labeled it a mere backup to breast milk. In fact, the only real upsides that breast milk advocates have to begrudgingly award to formula are its lack of inducing breast pain and its uncanny ability to put an infant into a far deeper sleep than average breast milk. Its these attributes that allow Enfamil to send vast quantities of samples to all soon to be moms, because given a chance to quell a few sleepless nights leads convinces quite a few moms to return their breast pumps and stock up on the powdery goodness. Still, it does make one consider the downsides of registries giving away your personal info versus not registering and ending up with more onesies than the Octomom ever utilized.

However, this isn’t the only way companies try to capitalize on a baby that’s still in utero. Check out next week for Part Two!